21 May 2013


So here i am again there with you all with some stupid phrases of the experiences of life.

Life is just a mere puppet of a supernatural power which fall when he wish, which rise when he wish, and which roll’s when you wish.
Its just so obvious in this time that one is there in need of always someone with whom he/she can share the uplifts of life. And that certain one is always tagged as the Special one in all the quotes or Romantic thoughts.
It was just the same going on with me in the capital. Inspite the fact that people over here are so involved with their professional life, yet there are some who enjoys being there with there own charm.
All you need to do is just turn around and look to the surrounding,
You will see a sixth standard child trying hard with his studies and having part time work of vending vegetable's in the evening, or one general store guy singing and enjoying his job while interacting in the best of there marketing skills with the customers.
Everything goes with the pace, and where was I , just stacked with works to do while just being internally booked with the state of my mind staring and taking glimpse of her.
Well here am I , Karan working in call centre in the internship program in Delhi for the summers , and there seated two o clock to me was a adorable girl dressed in blue, hairs curled and fluffy…and rest i just want to limit it with me
With the name Spriha .

And that’s the only thing which I know all about her, with lots of competition there in the firm, makes me one in her options to look at .
A simple, thin, guy hooked with headphone all the time, listening tracks when not on call, and jerking around alone with the coffee mug away from the groups during lunch.

That’s makes me quite an option, from the thoughts which I once learned in a book  “that people who use to be alone, becomes a centre of attraction”
I always bet on this topic only

So with this life, at office I have the other one too living in a flat next to a girls hostel, and being there with three of my friends enjoying the holiday to fullest with boozing and dieng and having fun all throughout the morning in the way we liked, Sometimes trying hard to seep and check into the girls hostel with our window , with the Binoculars which we bought there in the college just to take a look .
And the night use to be all booked with the fun of expecting her(Spriha), that in which format she would be dressed and atleast this will be the day where i will initiate for a talk with her.
That takes me back to the time that why I am just so introvert in talking to someone whom I like? well this question always set back some memories to me. That use to be quite un answerable by my side.

Weekends are all fun for me with the boozing and party kinda weather , but that was not going to be for this time, as the other one’s where going off to their respective home. So I was about to live alone for this two S days
Having a lots of planned linked for the weekends I just took a initiative on friday , it was quite long being a dumb ass , so i thought to ask here out,
I stood up and watched my steps towards her table
I was embraced with her looks as she was looking so adorable in her floral white and pink top. And that was making her think that i am being nuts watching her rack,
Well i shaked my head, and ask her if she wants coffee .
And started the conversation by telling about myself, and with some flirty and flattery skills managed to set a pull through Day out for the next day .
It was after so long that i had a nice weekends with someone of opposite gender.It was fun watching her smile and even me too. After a whole day of some window shopping by my side, and some nice time with movie on the corner duet seats of theater i was back to my apartment.
Few weeks later
“we started being nice to each other in the best way we can, it was a fresh and new start which i was about to tag as something more then friendship”

another weekend

Life is so complete when you have a girl next to you, that’s what i feel
And to have the best one with me i will always stand on the other side waiting for you to hold my hands and make me complete”

I heard a voice from behind
Of someone known of someone close.
I looked back and i was stunned,
Umm I wasn’t expecting you here I stated back.

The other rounds of words from her side
Is it stupid to wait for someone or is it worth to live with the fact that you can’t be with someone”
It was just like in few lines only i was being shooted with some number of times with the bullets of some past mistakes or precautions.
I just stood up looked at her and just wished to hug her, but that was something out of the region for me this time.

alarm sound  “creak creaks”I stood up in real, rubbed my eyes
“that was wet with the memories of past”
and thought about “what the fuck happened to me just a moment before”. I was not well it was just like someone poured some old thoughts into my mind,

I just took my old journal out and started reading something which  was once written by me in pain

The Tale of Passionate Love

That sweet breeze chilling me in the morn
that sun peeping from my window asking me
to wake up!!...that cellphone with unread
message of ma sweetheart!!

that feel in which i get lost..in my present
forgeting my past, YEAH!! that what which
give life to your DEAD HEART 3!! to beat
for the REASON to satisfy you & you feel WORTH!!

You,share all your talks..all your feels
whether in pleasant or in worst mood of

what it matters,it feel like as if you
have your soul crying>> *you share your
soul as one...& you give it the name LOVE

you BREATHE for the sake you have to take
care of her...you fall you skip...you cry!!
when she is HURT!!

this game of heart makes you fall you find
it difficult you TEAR apart...she holds your
hand,come closer to feel you heart...you BLUSh
and then be fine...that's the strength of LOVE

Smile as your lobe,reason is your HEART..
She is near which makes you complete,and
you fall in LOVE...

This love got spread in the veins of you
you BEAT you SKIp...as she do...you feel
you get low..as SHE do...you call it the
understanding,which has now melted in you

Your love come's on HIKE...and the reason is u
in that flame you get burn THROUGHOUT...
with the things which peeped in your heart.
that you can't be like this all THROUGH.

This touched you this ct as a poison for you
your feel got stucked to some missing TUNE
ans she got upset & the reason is you

Now she again cries,as she got hurt with the
new YOU!! But this time you dont fall as you
tried to do!! to raise your confidence which
can never be there for SHE to be shown.

She cried and you know and the more you cry!
in the INVISIBLE lobe..to feel free to show
that you can be ALONE!!

That soul which use to be one!! is now killed by ME
which toxicate our heart with pain unbearable to
resist..THAT BEAT which use to be one was CRUSHED
by me...and this time i had no one to BLAME
as the reason was far away from the past

She cried and cried for me to be the same!!
and i don't know what made me to fall with this

That love which we cherised was now to an end
that lost tune which soothed was shutting
down with pain!!

Tears did fall in this pain...and my HEART
do got squeezed and this time with tearful rain
it was an end to my BEAT & THE TRUE ME INSIDE!!

This love was the eternal...for me, for my soul!!
My shadow needs something to persist with this PAIN
i fall'd in love with the REASON ME to be BLAMED.

Scribbling the case,now in rain,
Tears falling and the breezes are the same
That epoch of LOVE came to an end...
with no past love which i use to touch in pain!!

No such nights with sleep and MORNING came!!
Messages sometimes FORWARDED with diff names,
& sometimes my cellphone in SWITCHED OFF STATE

TEARS keep rolling and days skipped....why the
reason still persist....why I cant be with she all
through the time I EXIST "

A simple tear of failure fall'd down through my eyes, for the time which was now carved in memories only with girl with whom i once shared something which i called LOVE at instant. I was choked for a moment for the time that i am still in the same way learning for the way to set back from her memories,

And now when i just sink in this emotions i blame for all the instant and relationship which i have with everyone there in my life, my hate for not being able to carry a relationship in which i really loved someone drives me crazy to hate each and every one there in my life.

tring tring
i got a call from spriha

while i was there in thought of something unexplainable 
I just picked up the phone and asked her to call me later.

And then was continuing the thought of being such a asshole with life, i started remembering of the past time when i just bubbled up with this thought of being in the memories of her,
It was the same time when i i asked one of my friends to just leave me alone for no reasons at all.

It was certain time when i fear of just being in relationship with someone with the reason that i will break up again with her, and its also certain time when i think that i would get physical.
Well that whole scenario just put up a tons of doubt on "what am I ? "

tring tring
another call from Spriha
"and i really fear from my answer this time, as the same from past a handful number of times "phsycopath" hah yeah certainly thats what i feel about my self

i asked you do don't call i am busy right and will talk to you later, bye.

and this is the line which often use to be the last one for a number of time when i just initiate for the life being there with someone where i am not able to forget the one with whom i was there once before"

and what suits as mere option for me at that time is get back to her knowing that i can't be without her, killing all of the reason which i once stated to her

leaves me wild, and with screwed up state

i took my phone and searched for name Eri
shooted a message regarding all the stuff and asked for whats the problem with me and all after a long time, its yet again the same time with some selfish thoughts by my side, to overcome MY PAIN, MY SORROW , AND GET BACK MY LOVE.

what set backs the life after relationship is getting something as reply "which you know that you deserve but can't digest really that you got "

                                              "i have done everything as per your wishes
Friendship your wish!
best friendship your wish!
relationship your wish!
you were busy your wish!
lack of time, Ok! thats also your wish
So much wishes that I had finally lost that
what my wishes are.!!
So this is the time when i am concentrating on my wishes
so please don't piss me off"

And then stand finally you with you wishes dumped by your steps only.

I took my phone and wrote a long text to Spriha
With a farewell from my life............................................................................

"that's something which take place most of time in the life after relationship, where a person cant find what he/she exactly want from life, or who he/she  exactly want, and to the time they exactly know, it use to be more than late for their life.

take your shot at the right time


© 2013, copyright Sankalp Singh


Post a Comment

Thanks for finding time to write down what you felt.