08 December 2014

Loyalty Test

Loyalty Test

I don't carry much of a desire of hurting her by double dating or spending my time full filling the desires of lust.

It was never my way of thinking until the day things swapped a bit to the side. Which was a bit typical and difficult for me to handle.

I am not obnoxious and neither do I feel much of being involve in a crime when I am caught talking with any random girl who liked the thing which I do or did.

I know my likes and interest create a swarm for people to like whatever they want but then, its not easy for me to avoid the situation when the random girl who was talking to me turns out to be my girlfriend.

Am I surprised that its she who is checking on me in that way?
Am I surprised about why she did like this?

Whatever the reason was or is I just know that she wanted this to happen.
She wanted to check what I had been doing these days when I am not in contact with her.

When I sit back and think that why this happened with me , I am just able to think about some reasons for this.

Reason 1- May be I am giving her less time as compared to the other interest of mine and she is trying to come in the center of my life By different means.
But that is not a right reason because she was and is my centre of attraction for all time.

Reason 2 - trust issues. But then how this is possible ,why trust issues its been a long time like this. We broke up and patched up again if it had to be like this then I would have never patched up with her.
Who knows whats there in her mind? That doesn't mean I don't want to know ,because I do.

Reason 3- Its for fun and my talking style with unknown people screwed that in a way that it got interesting for her to carry on further.

These 3 possible outcomes are something which I can think about at time.

But but but, I am not ditching her neither do I want her to cross check me like this , I feel uncomfortable , I feel like I am doing something wrong even if I am not.

Am I doing wrong?
Above all of the things what I need is your complete faith on me.

Question like this hover high in my mind even if there is surety that I am not going to double cross her.

"Life is an uncertain gameplay of hearts" what there with you today will be tomorrow only if you cherish that in present.

I do that, really I do. But then I feel left out , I feel insecure and i feel a thousand times that she is better then me in avoiding situation like this

is it so?
May be, but she is.

But uncertainty is something which can come anytime in your life. You never know that the small test like this could add up to a point in small fights which you suffer in relationship and could change that scenario into a wider scooped fights.

Entrusting the very same LOVE which you cherish into a difficult situation of an end.

Stay well & Enjoy Reading

#love #relationship #breakup

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© 2014, copyright Sankalp Singh


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Thanks for finding time to write down what you felt.